~~~YANA~~~

(You Are Not Alone!) Just a place to vent and let loose! Add your comments or any advice. All are welcome! Enjoy!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Love, Hate, Trust, what do you do?

Good morning! I need a little time to vent so please bear with me. Its only been 2 1/2 days since my heart has been broken so I am not handling it very well yet. Still to fresh. Its so hard. How do you hate someone and love someone at the same time? Sad thing is, is, this is how I feel. When I got married it was with the FULL intentions on it being forever. I took my vows before God. If I wasn't planning on it to last I would have NEVER gotten married. I would have NEVER had kids. I see how divorce ruins kids lives. I don't want my little girl to be all messed up and end up rebelling beyond what is the norm. I love her to much. I close my eyes and picture the day that my husband and I part ways and I am in tears. Hysterical. I love the man that I fell in love with. The man I know he can be. Do I just make him suffer for a while and see if it changes him or should I just throw in the towel, or go through my time of depression and move on. I swear this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Its mind blowing. Every thought is about him, every stomach ache is over him, every tear is because of him. Its ridiculous. And my daughter, my baby, what do I do? I would NEVER keep him from her or her from him. We would share full custody with her mainly living with me. How is this going to play out in the end? I remember my rebelling years and it was over a religion. What does divorce do? You see so many shows and statistics that girls especially fair the worst. The become promiscuous. I don't even want to go there. Not in todays world. Its bad out there. I am just so torn. I know I have a ot fo soul searching to do. Well, thanks for letting me vent. Wish my Good Luck cause I am certainly going to need it!

Love, Hugs and Kisses

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